6 year old reverting to sucking thumb
Q:
I was wondering if you could give me any advice or suggestions for my six year old who’s had a relapse in his thumb sucking? We went through the Unplugging the Thumb program earlier this year and he did fantastic with it. You may remember my email a few months ago speaking so highly of the program. He had completely unplugged it for at least two months or more. Then for some reason he started up again just as much as before. We discussed things, re-watched the video and he got back on track for a few more weeks. But now he’s right back into the same habit of sucking it both day and night. I’m at a loss and as you can imagine very frustrated. Do you have any recommendations as to how to approach it now or what to do?? I would greatly appreciate any advice you may have.
Thank you
A: Hi, I can honestly say that this almost never happens under normal circumstances. I have tried to think this through and remember the few times it has occurred. It has usually been one of the following reasons. Though they might not apply to your son, perhaps it will spark some idea that will ring a bell and help you sort out what could have happened:
1. There was a child who literally pretended to have quit. She later admitted that she went under their dining room table and sucked her fingers but hid it from her parents until she completed the program. They had unfortunately offered her a very big reward, far too big, and she did it for the reward. Then she came out in the open and sucked her fingers.
2. There was a boy whose mother had tried everything prior to our program….and I mean EVERYTHING on the market. It was hard for him to believe that this would work based on all the negative past experiences with other contraptions and methods. He made it for a short term, can’t recall how long, but reverted back. He’d had years of failures with other methods and we could not fulfill one of the four requirements, Self fulfilling prophesy….the belief in himself that he will succeed.
3. We have had parents who wanted it more than the child did so the child stopped to please the parent….not something that lasts, unfortunately. They have to want to quit for themselves.
4. More often, there is something that occurs during that critical time once the habit is eliminated that puts the child in a state where sucking is used as a necessary comfort to overcome whatever happened. It is possible that the child doesn’t consciously even know what is going on inside his head, but he reacts. If a child has truly eliminated the habit and is enjoying life normally for two months, I do think something went on within his own mind or in the environment that sent him to the thumb again.
5. My guess is that he is not doing as many things actively as he did prior. Is he going outside as often, running as often, attending school (I doubt it), etc. These drastic changes in activities and daily routine might have contributed to backsliding. I don’t recall where you live, but literally everywhere in the world the children are hearing and fearing COVID 19, even if we try to shield them. I can see how it might be difficult to have a normal life when kids sense what those around are thinking, even if we try our best to keep things “normal.”
Other that the above, I am clueless.
As for suggestions, involve him:
1. What does he tell you he thinks caused him to revert? It would be good to get his own explanation.
2. What does he want to do about it? Does he want to try again, with some interesting changes so it won’t be exactly the same? Does he want to wait awhile; if so, how long? Ask if he can come up with a time, ex. after my 7th birthday.
3. Does he want to continue as he is, sucking day and night? Ask him, non-judgmentally. Get HIS input and decision and for now, that’s all you can do.
I hope something above is helpful. Please let me know your thoughts and if any of these possibilities might be contributing to the relapse.
